© 2018 by Tessa Smith. Proudly created with Wix.com

  • Google+ Social Icon
  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Instagram Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon
Sep 24, 2018

Give your body credit for the work it's doing to keep you alive


I'm not sure how you're typically supposed to feel about having the privilege to see a Pain Team, but from my emotions right now, I'm feeling excited. Not in a way that might suggest optimism for a life without my chronic pain; rather, just a slight hope that these people might find a way to keep it under control. Or help it anyway.


Medically, I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for the way we sustain ourselves through sickness and/or disability. This is something we're talking a lot about in my Feminist Disability Studies class, and it's vital to broadening our knowledge on the topic of medicalization.


Typically, when your body gets sick, it reacts to fighting back against the unconsented issue. The doctors' roll within our recovery is only a fraction of the fight, to how we actively decide mentally, and how much our body is willing to fight for our souls to keep moving through the world in our external shell. Overall, the medical assistance we receive - if we are so lucky - does not entirely depend on the result of our lives. You have to have the will to want to live.


Lately this has been something that I've been struggling with. I recognize that my life is in a good place and for the most part, I am happy, but circumstances have not been kind recently, and my depression has been whispering lustful temptations in my inner-ears. I acknowledge that mental health can worsen physical pain, so I've been doing my best to carve out time for myself and take care of myself in the ways only I know how. I am grateful, at least, that I am sure enough of myself to know what I need.


In the past recent months, the chronic pain in my leg has once again elevated to the level where for the last 2 years I went in for Neurolysis surgery to (temporarily) correct this. Quite obviously I can't just keep having surgeries every time my leg pain returns with the most wicked intentions, but this is what I'm hoping tomorrow's Pain Team can help with. I am doing my part to try and stay positive, not overdo it and keep myself comfortable, but I could use some help.


Because the pain in my amputated leg has gotten so bad in the past little while, it has inevitably lead to spreading more centrally throughout my body - as chronic pain has the tendency to do. I get a lot of pain everywhere now, and am constantly popping pills and having to limit myself more than I'd like. Now with a fresh mindset on working out, I do so often, but not without repercussions

. Through this journey, I've been able to be more mindful and accepting in everyday life that limitations are okay, and modification is important for me because it is what will allow me to thrive in a lot always accommodative society.


That's it for this week's #MotivationalMonday, as I wrote this Sunday night to be proactive and am starting to feel very sleepy. The real motivation I'll provide you with to start your week though, is: are you doing all you can to make sure you are Well? (Mentally and physically?) If the answer is no, or even a maybe, consider readjusting how you're currently taking care of yourself, and remember to prioritize yourself. YOU are the most important thing in your life.


Take good care,

Tessa ❤

New Posts
  • Happy Monday my friends! I am terribly sorry it's been a bit since I've lasted posted a #MotivationalMonday shtick; like a lot of students, my mental health has been getting the best of me. As some of you here may know / experience as well, my chronic pain has been at an all time high that's been causing low-activity, and high-fatigue. So this is just a short 'n sweet post to remind you all I'm still here; and that you're all still here (for each other) too! Even if I'm not able to be consistently present on Chatability, I wanted to remind you that I'm present in your lives as a means of support, and to remind you you're not alone. Reaching out on my own website that I've created too, helps remind me that I'm not alone either. So reach out to one another! Keep sharing the word, and keep going. For uni/college kids (in Peterborough, anyway): it's almost Reading Week!!
  • Good morning everyone, and Happy Monday! Once again, I am terribly sorry for my absence the past two weeks almost. I suppose a part of my embodiment and trying to run this site single-handed (pun intended for my arm amp friends out there!), takes its toll and can be hard to keep up. Additionally, I’ve been going through the throes of my own health recently, but all is well. To get you started this week, I’m shifting gears and introducing our first shoutout recipient: Emilee Schevers! Before giving you a little intro about Emilee, I’d first like to recognize that she was the individual who made me realize Chatability needed a more accessible age range for students. As I mentioned, post-secondary institutions were my main focus because that’s where I currently stand (again, pun!) with my activism, but I was also a person with disabilities in my high school years. My whole life, really! I always forget about my prosthetic eye as a disability to be honest, simply because it’s been with me since infantry. Although nowadays, I do find it to be more of a barrier, as my social life shifts its mold. Anyways! Without further ado, here’s Emilee :) - - - Hey Tessa!! It’s Emilee Schevers. I’m so excited to see what you’ve created. I’ve followed you ever since you spoke at my school like 5 years ago and then again at my high school, TAS, twice, and have been completely inspired ever since! I’m 17 and am visually impaired and am finishing up my last year at TAS now. I would love to help out in any way I can. I’m excited about Chatability because only in the last few year have I become involved in the blind community and it has changed my life completely. I find that there is such a strong connection between persons with disabilities because we all have something in common no matter what. I used to never be able to talk about my visual impairment until I found people who could relate to. I think it’s so so important for people with disabilities to know that they can always have someone to talk to or somewhere to express their struggles or successes! - - - There you have it, our first Chatability member reaching out to express support for her fellow members! Awesome stuff. Please remember that if you’re interested in the shoutouts/ambassador initiative to shoot me an email at chatability@gmail.com with your name, age, school, your disability(ies), and why you’re psyched to be apart of our community. I hope this also encourages folks to get involved on our website! We have plenty of forums on our ‘Connect’ page ( https://www.chatability.org/connect ), that are open and available to you to Express Yourself, and get the things not everyone understands, off your chest. Sending lots of love and positive vibes on this Monday morning. Have a great day! - Tessa May Smith
  • This past weekend was Homecoming at my University. I didn't go. A seemingly easy decision to make, it was hard to decide whether to go or not because I felt obligated just because of the word "home" - language plays a large role in my life. I kept wondering, "Was I not apart of my Trent family if I didn't attend?" "What would I miss out on?" "Would I regret it if I didn't go?" It now being Monday, and homecoming having passed, and everyone hungover as hell diving into a new week, I can say with ease that I don't regret not going. These types of events honestly remind me of school dances - particular prom - or any overrated holiday like New Year's Eve or Valentine's day; it's only a big deal that you don't go if you make it to be. Because I recognized that the activities of homecoming didn't really suit my personality-type, I was able to feel peaceful about my decision making. Peer pressure doesn't cease to exist as you get older, in fact it can become more difficult to brush off. However, if you are sure of yourself, and know yourself well enough, saying "no" to things you don't really want to go to, becomes a heck of a lot easier. This is not to say I don't have love and pride for my school, but not a strong love with/for alcohol; it is unfortunate to me that this is what HOCO revolves around. I know this may be beginning to sound redundant, but it just makes me wonder how many other students out there are like me in the inside, but feel as though they have to portray something different on the outside..? So what did I do this weekend instead, you might be wondering? Physically, absolutely nothing. Mentally, I tried very hard to do a lot of work that's been piling up, and I honestly couldn't even bring myself to get it all done, just because my entire embodiment was exhausted. Being unproductive is okay sometimes though, this is your body telling you to slow down and just crash. Sometimes we need a reboot. The problem with my need for a reboot, was that I went almost three weeks just continuously traveling and working, so I was bound to burnout. On this note, I think it's important for you, reader, to consider how you might alleviate any stress you can to avoid this complete crash. It isn't wise to keep going and going until you drop, and after these last couple weeks I think I've finally learned my lesson on that. It's okay to take things off your plate, and make time to do nothing. Nothingness can be essential to how you live within your own body, and discover new things about yourself. Life is largely about making money come in, sure, but it's also about investing in yourself, your soul, and your Experience in the body you're in. So we got a little spiritual this early afternoon, I hope that's alright; as always, I just want to try my best to inspire you and set you off on the right track with a good 'ol #MotivationalMonday ! Love, Light & Peace Tessa 💖✨